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  • Writer's pictureTanya Mathison

Day 5, “What grieving lesson did you learn the most?”

Updated: Jan 7, 2021

Holidays and family and friends during the holiday season has been the most difficult Grief lesson. After the passing of son It was expected it to just continue on as things work and be happy and beautiful like everyone else and celebrate the beautiful season even as a believer it was still difficult.

Learning how to celebrate anything but especially celebrate the magical season of the holidays with friends and family has never been the same and the for the longest time I was not OK with that.

I didn’t want to celebrate.

I didn’t want to feel joy.

I didn’t want to be happy.

Because I didn’t feel that I should or deserved it or should we even allowed to smile again. My son was gone, my heart was broken, so how could one feel joy and celebrate with everyone else. I felt alone, I felt stuck, I felt like people didn’t understand me and it was a painful and lonely many Christmas seasons.

Allowing myself to meet myself in the middle was the best place to start in allowing room to just be present with family a Christmas. I didn’t have to be anything more than just the justbeing awareness that things are different things may not ever be the same and that’s OK.

I personally know from my own journey of grief and loss, that even after trauma you can still choose love and still choose to life.

Let’s Rebuild Beautiful together.

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