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  • Writer's pictureTanya Mathison

I Run with my Angels and my Angels Run with me.

I wanted to share something with you that happened last week in my preparation for my first full marathon.

I have been training mentally for a full marathon since 2010. It was something that was discussed at my cousins memorial service, family members were talking about how it would be an honor if we ran a marathon in memory of this cousin. I thought, ‘Yeah, I really would like to do that,’ but I was nowhere physically or mentally ready to take on such a task. I didn’t even have the desire to run after my son passed away in 2009. However, that year, I started to mentally prepare myself to start running again. Then in 2018, I started physically running and it’s taking me a long time to get where I am today.

Last Saturday was the race. And if you haven’t been to Washington State to visit the cute German touristy town called Leavenworth I would highly encourage you to make the trip out here, especially at Christmas time, it is so magical and so beautiful.

When I first started my journey of running, my body hated me. I think the biggest thing I rumble with was getting out of bed. My body was so heavy as lead, and sometimes I would just have to roll out of bed. My body hurt so bad and that I would have to crawl across the floor to make my kids their breakfast, with just enough energy to crawl back across the floor and pull myself back into bed. I had to motivate myself to even walk down to driveway to get the mail from the mailbox. My body hurts so much because there’s so much emotional pain inside me that it showed it’s physical form in my body.

I remember attempting to take walks with my family. However, they were so energized and moved so fast it was hard to keep up with them. I remember praying to keep up with them. Sometimes we would have to turn around because I couldn’t keep up or they would keep going and I would have to turn around & walk back home alone, feeling the fear of missing out in connecting and creating memories.

Then I decided that I would try to do the Turkey Trot with my girls because they liked running. And so I did that, and it was hard. And then we did a 5K as a family, and that was so hard. And then I did a 10k with my husband and that was so hard. And then my friend offered to do a half marathon with me, and that was so hard. And then I redid that same half marathon a year later , and that was so hard. So, I’m expecting this full marathon to be so hard, but the thing is, is that it’s takes patience with being OK with where you are at.

Sometimes we need that focus to take one step at a time, to take it one day at a time, to focus on that one minute at a time. We need to start with Awareness  of what we’re feeling and experiencing to try to be in that moment at that time, even if it may be hard.

But as those first few steps in taking it one day at a time, one minute at a time becomes a little less hard and a little more doable that’s when it’s important for us to start looking forward.

And that can be hard. It can feel scary because we’re pushing ourselves to see things in a different way, we’re giving ourselves opportunities  to see outside the box instead of staying in the box.

It’s OK for us to see grief in a different way. It’s OK to give ourselves permission to use our agency to make different choices . It’s OK to aligning ourselves to the true essence of what  resonates within us, saying, “How can I turn this into a Gift or an Opportunity today?” What can you do differently today than yesterday?

I wanted to share something with you that happened last week on my last full run of training. Last Thursday I ran 10mile. Then last Friday I ran 16 miles making it a total of 26 miles which is a full marathon. On that Friday when I got up to 10 miles I wanted to be done, but I still had 6 miles left.  So, I asked myself, “What can I do differently today then yesterday?”

I remember a friend said to me, “You should look straight ahead and see were you are wanting to go.” I decided to look straight ahead instead of looking down, like what I normally do. As I looked straight, I noticed something, I started picking up my speed without even telling my brain or my body to do it. I moved to a 10 minute mile pace from an 11 minute mile pace. And then I remember my friend saying that if you’re right handed dominant, you want to look up and to the right. And because I was on a straightaway where there want any obstacles in my way, I decided to do that. Already looking straight and then shift my fast to look up into the right corner and I noticed another thing. My body started moving at a faster pace without me telling my brain or my body to do it. I was now moving at a 9 minute mile, and I was smiling, amazed at the experience that tears started rolling down my face.

People will try to tell you to just focus on one step, one breath, one day at a time,  but if we keep ourselves operating from that that focus, we won’t allow ourselves the option to shift our gaze: To do things in a different, to feel things in a different way, to move in a different way. We keep ourselves stuck, looking down, because it’s comfortable even though it’s not comfortable, it’s safe, even though it’s really not safe, it’s easier even though it’s really not easier. Overtime we become comfortable with the uncomfortableness where we are not allowing options to change. Grief is not right or wrong. Grief is connection not isolation. As I prepare for this marathon to run with my angels my angels to run with me, It’s given me perspective, it’s given me opportunities to think outside the box beyond the one day at a time approach.

Allowing myself to be uncomfortable in trying something new because that might be exactly what I need l. So, wherever you’re at, you’re exactly where you need to be. But ask yourself ‘Could I allow myself to do something a little differently today?’ And then give yourself permission to try today that you didn’t yesterday. This is the greatest work I’ve done personally on myself over these past many years. I’m excited to share this work with you even more. And if it resonates with you or a friend please let them know of this podcast.

You can find me a There you can find one on one & Group coaching support. I also have my Rebuild Beautiful 12 Week Course that is now available for you to go at your own pace, 6 weeks of Mental Fitness and 6 weeks of Awareness Steps. Those together  make it so magical, shared with the PDF version of the book ‘Magical Disaster’ that I’ve written, the book is set to be released November 1st.

I’m so excited to give you the support that means the world to me and with tools that has supported me with where I’m currently at today.

If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to be a

And Friends please know,

I’m always in your corner, Tanya ((hugs))

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